The Power of Saying ‘No’

Tatiana Hart/ November 27, 2018/ MINDSET/ 0 comments

Do not underestimate the power of no. If you learn to say it, it will get you ahead in life. No will free you from activities you should not be involved in anyway. It will buy you precious time for things you need to focus on: your creative projects, family, loved ones.

I have probably more things I say ‘no’ to. There are ten most common ones below.

10 Things I Say ‘No’ to:

  1. Time wasting activities
  2. Mindless consumption
  3. Debt
  4. Negative people that peddle their agenda
  5. Tobacco and alcohol
  6. Bad attitude and complaining
  7. Sloth
  8. Peer pressure
  9. Dishonesty
  10. Excuses

Time wasting activities

Time wasting activities rob you of the most precious thing in the world – time. Time can be wasted by (although may not be limited to): watching television, gossiping, complaining, mindless consumption and shopping, regrets, hate, and so forth.

I avoid all of the above and expand my energy on things I can control and affect. I create, design, analyze, appreciate life and love experiences I have designed thus far.

Mindless consumption

When you stop creating, you start consuming. Consumption fills the void produced by the absence of meaning in life, the absence of a goal and connection to the world.

When we are connected to our surrounding, we pay more attention to others, to our relationships, to our work. We become inspired and we start creating and stop consuming incessantly.

I always pay attention to my environment, relationships, deep work and saying ‘no’ to mindless consumption becomes natural.

Debt

You get in debt when you are trying to prove that you deserve more than you can afford. You want it now and you will pay later. Everybody else owns whatever it is you want to have; a big house, an ivy league education, a sports car, a lavish wardrobe and luxurious vacations.

You want to have a facade, to flaunt the faux opulence regardless of what it is doing to you: to your freedom, your dignity, your health, time, and energy.

You will think about it tomorrow, you just want to prove that you have as many toys as your friends. But stuff cannot replace self-esteem and self-respect. Stuff cannot compensate for the stress you have to endure paying for those things and vacation.

Not to mention that you have no idea what happiness and peace feel like.

Debt eats your energy and time away. Simply say ‘no’ to it. Conserve your energy for activities and experiences you value, build your wealth  so you never have to sell your time for money.

Negative people that peddle their agenda

You say ‘no’  to family members and relatives who are trying to borrow money from you.  You never lend money to relatives – you will not see it again. So to save yourself a hassle, do not lend money to family.

Do give money as a gift to family when you feel it is appropriate and you can help. The amount is at completely at your discretion.

Relatives do not want to borrow money, they want to be given money. Say no to a loan,

Say yes to a monetary gift.

You say ‘no’ to people even friends and family who are trying to sell you something. Do you want to be sold something? No.

Tobacco and alcohol

Tobacco and alcohol are poison. Plain and simple. I do not poison myself, thus, I always say no to tobacco and alcohol. I ask people not to smoke around me.

Bad attitude and complaining

Bad attitude keeps you in the abyss of darkness and paradoxically only bring more negativity. You only can change your bad attitude by choice.

Keep in mind that even positive people have moments of adversity and their own challenges. However, they choose to concentrate on solutions not problems and move on fast. They understand that it is a choice to be positive and that they will be rewarded with more success for making that choice.

Complaining is another form of bad attitude when a party chooses to concentrate on problems instead of seeking a solution. Such people typically bring their problems to others who cannot help them solve those problems. Complainers choose the futility of complaining over the practicality of solution seekers.

Don’t waste your time, say ‘no’ to them and wish them good luck.

Sloth

I am talking about mental sloth. It always results in poor performance because the mind always goes the length to convince that you have worked hard enough and you deserve a break.

You have to keep moving to keep momentum in order to have success and to bring good things into your life. By saying ‘no’ to sloth you are keeping your mind in check and gracefully continuing your journey. In the process you are not sacrificing sleep, nutrition, reasonable rest, and nutrition. You never sacrifice your health because it is plain lazy. You keep the rhythm, continue moving, and focusing on deep work.

Sloth always gets a ‘no’.

Peer pressure

‘Wait, you are not drinking alcohol? How are we supposed to have fun?’

It is not your problem how. Alcohol does not constitute fun to you and you do not consume it. Take it or leave.

You need to respect their choice and let them drink. However, you also deserve respect and you are ultimately free to make your own choice. Never do what others do just to conform and not to stand out. It never works and overtime brings resentment toward those whom you emulated.

Stand your own and say ‘no’ to peer pressure.

Dishonesty

Truth will set you free. But first it will make you angry. People try to project an image they may not deserve to have by being dishonest and taking credit for the work they did not do.

Follow ethics and do the work. You will not get ahead by cutting corners. Also, deep work bring true satisfaction and happiness: it is always the journey, not the destination.

You should not tolerate it and say ‘no’ to being around such people.

Excuses

Excuses, excuses, excuses. Do not do anything you would be sorry for. That’s it. You do not have to beg for forgiveness. If you made a mistake, take the responsibility and admit it. Do not justify it. Learn from it and do not allow it to happen again. Excuses waste time Say ‘no’ to them.

You Can Be Polite and Classy Saying ‘No’

Don’t worry, you do not have to be a prick to say no. People have to respect your choices and desires. Thus you can politely decline what you have no interest in.

-Would you like a glass of wine?

-No, thank you!

 

Until next time.

Tatiana Hart

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